Son: Dad, what is an idiot? Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me? Son: No.
A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game. Oh, I really liked it, she said, but I just couldn't understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents. Suprised, the boyfriend asked, what do you mean? The blonde girlfriend replied, all they kept screaming was: "Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!"
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in most countries, son.
Man goes to the doctors and sayes 'doctor, I cant stop my hands from shaking !' Doctor replies 'do you drink much ?' Man says 'no, I spill most of it !'
A couple driving home hit and wounded a skunk on the road. The wife gets out and brings it back to the car. 'We need to take it to a vet. Its shivering, it must be cold, what should I do ?' she asks. Husband replies 'Put it between your legs to keep it warm'. 'But it stinks !' she exclaims. 'So hold its nose !'
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1191 » Family jokes
